Dear Fanfiction Readers
by LililolipopD
Summary: This is a story where our Vamps and Freaks answer your questions. If you have a question send it to me in a Review. Now Read, Review and question :D
1. Chapter 1

**Hey it's me Lil with another story! *Mini-Party* WHOOOOOOOO YAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**

**Ahem… Anyways, this story depends on reviews. They are vital, if you want this story to continue Review, if not… Well, I will not be updating for a while.**

**ANYWAYS I shall put up the first three chapters in the next three days to give you a slight chance to Review :D **

**There is going to be six letters per chapter so I'm Going to do half and Fred will do the other half :}**

***Screams in your ear* THANKS FOR LISTENING :3**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of The Darren Shan and his saga if I did Larten would not have died. D:**

**LE-LINE-CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Vancha March_

_Why are you so disgusting? Go take a shower :)_

_P.S I'm a big fan :D_

_From Lily :D_

Dear Lily

I AM NOT DISGUSTING, I TAKE A SHOWER EVERY YEAR AND A HALF! AND WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME? I WAS BORN THIS WAY BABY!

From Vancha March

**LE-LINE-CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Larten Crepsley_

_Hi I'm a big fan of yours ,so big every time I hear your name mentioned anywhere or if I see a dude with ginger or red hair I swoon. *Sigh*_

_Anyways onto my question –Ahem- Can I have a lock of your hair please? Please? PLEAZ?!_

_P.S ILURVEYU Omegered I told you teehee *Skips away happily*_

_From Lily :3_

Dear Lillian

No. Simply no to all of that -_-

No I will not give you a lock of my hair, No you do not love me, No you are not a fan of mine.

From Larten Crepsley

**LE-LINE-CONSPIRACY **

_Dear Gavner Purl_

_Do you realize how loud your snoring is?_

_P.S When you died in the books I died inside D:_

_From Lily_

Dear Lily

Yes I do realize I snore really loudly and it's funny sometimes when they complain about it. But there's a bad side to it, such as the name calling, the pegs on my nose, the way Larten complains about it like an old woman etc.

I'm sorry to hear that you died inside, I didn't mean to die it was that dumb bimbo's fault (Kurda). But we have an excellent internet connection and a spa In Paradise so don't feel sorry for me. :D

From Gavner Purl

**LE-LINE-CONSPIRACY (This is where Fred comes in :D)**

_Dear Arra Sails_

_How do you do the bars? I can barely walk in a straight line without falling flat on my Buttocks. O.O I am mystified by you *Lightly touches your face like your some sort of Goddess*_

_From Fred_

Dear Fred

Two words my friend: Vampire Blood. Simple as that. Also I have been in training for about 150 years so yeah of course I'm better than you :P

AND STAHP TUCHIN MAH FACE!

From Arra Sails

**LE-LINE-CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Debbie Hemlock_

_I HATE YOU YOU'RE A DUMB BIMBO THAT DOES'NT DESERVE DARREN, HE DESERVES MUCH MORE THAN YOU, SLUT! (__**Lil: Fred what have I told you about your anger towards Debbie? | Fred: *Breathes In* *Breaths out* Okay I'm fine now (: )**__ Okay what do you see in Darren?_

_From Fred_

Dear Fred

O_O *Blinks once* *Blinks twice* Okay that was unusual…

Anyways…What _do_ I see in Darren? Hmmm… I think it's because he was my childhood sweetheart I guess…

From Debbie Hemlock

**LE-LINE-CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Harkat Mulds_

_WHY YOU SO SHORT?_

From Fred

Dear Fred

WHY YOU NO LIKE ME ON FACEBOOK?

From Harkat Mulds

**LE-LINE CONSPIRACY**

**Okay so this is my newest story It Needs Reviews to survive and only you have the power, I wish I could scream I GOT THE POWA! But sadly I can't :( *Looks disappointed* **

**Anyways, Review ^_^**

**Lil xxx**

**Peace and Tranquillity to all**


	2. In which Mika turns into Le Hulk

**And another chapter up Whoooo! *Stupid happy dance* ANYWAYS thank you AngelRainglow for being the first Reviewer and to Wolflover235 for giving me my first Question :D *Gets gold stickers out of drawer gives both one* Also me and Fred have switched sides, he goes first and I go second and Wolflover235 gets hers first =D**

**ANYWAYS ON TO LE STORAY XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD**

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Vancha March and Alice Burgess _

_What's the deal between you two?_

_From Wolflover235_

Dear Wolflover235

Well I am mated with Evanna for seven years so I don't know. But when these seven years are up believe me I'm gonna ask Alice to be my mate *goofy grin*

From Vancha March

Dear Wolflover235

Umm I don't really know he's quite Hansome… In a scruffy, smelly, gross way but… His eyes *sigh* those beautiful round hazel pools of gold… *shakes head* Ahem well we aren't anything serious but in a few years maybe?

From Alice Burgess

**LE-LINE-CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Darren Shan_

_How many scars do you have? I have three one on my right big toe one on my left butt cheek and one on my left thumb :D_

_From Fred_

Dear Fred

I have one two, three… four…five… six, seven… aaand eight and nine. I have nine scars I think.

From Darren Shan

**LE-LINE-CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Desmond Tiny_

_Can I borrow your watch PLZ? I have no way to tell the time D': Also where'd ya get your wellies?_

_From Fred_

Dear Fred

No you cannot have my Watch but if you want one you can get one at Evil-Watches-R-Us =D

And I got my wellies at the little stall across from it if that helps :}

From Desmond Tiny

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY (This is where I come in X})**

_Dear Shancus Von_

_I Wub Woo. I wish you had more time in the books I love you your sooo cute *_*_

_Anyway the thing is what did you name the snake that Darren gave you for your B-Day?_

_From Lily_

Dear Lily

I named her Spotty-Wotty-Shoo-Shoo =D

From Shancus Von

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Seba Nile_

_What does it feel like to be the oldest living vampire?_

_P.S BIG FAN XD_

_From Lily_

Dear Lillian

It is quite a good feeling, all the young ones looking up to you like you're a god *sigh* It's Paradise

From Seba Nile

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Mika Ver Leth_

_How do you feel about the song 'Emo (Like A Nazi)' by Rucka Rucka Ali?_

_From Lily :D_

Dear Lily

I ABSOLUTELY LOATH THAT SONG, WHEN I PASS BY EVERYBODY STARTS SINGING IT. SONG IT MAKES ME SOOOOOOO A-N-G-R-Y! MIKA SMASH *Roars*

From Hulk Mika Ver Leth :D

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

**Okaaaay that was weird. Anyways what do you think? Plz send me your questions in Letter form aaaaaand…**

**PEACE OUT**

**Lil xxx :)**


	3. In which I make a quick escape

**Hey it's me with a new chapter :D After this chappie I will be updating when I get at least four questions okay? :-O **

**Anyways big Thank you to Samansa-Chan for her question *gives her a gold star* and please Review or PM me any questions :D**

**ON TO LE STORAY**

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Evra Von_

_Out of all the Cirque Members you are my all time favorite because I am the strange type of girl who isn't freaked out by snakes or reptiles of any kind. _

_Now my question is if next time you shed instead of giving it to Cormac would you be willing to give it to me? _

_If so thanks and I just love you in general :*_

_From Salmon_

Dear Salmon

Of course I will! I'm never giving it to Cormac again because last time I did he umm used it as a blanket... Yeah.

Anyways Hugs and Kisses, Evra :3

From Evra Von

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Urcha Von_

_If you could have any Super Power, what would it be? And why would you choose it?_

_From Lilly_

Dear Lilly

I would be Invisable,because then I would go to Paris, sneak up on an unexpecting mime and beat him up, Oh the applause he would get. :3

From Urcha Von

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Merla Von_

_Can you still hear when you take off your ears?_

_From Lilly_

Dear Lilly

Yes I can still hear It's good for eavesdropping on people LOL :3

From Merla Von

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY (In which Fred comes in)**

_Dear Lilia Von_

_How does it feel too be three?_

_From Fred_

Dear Fwed

I Duunooo my name is Lilia and I like Tom and Jewwy Cuz Tommys Face goes BOOOM! TEEHEE~ :3

Fwom Lilia Vom

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Darren Shan _

_Why did you not reach for Kurdas hand Motherf***er_

_From Fred_

Dear Fred

Because I thought he was Evil. Duh

From Darren Shan

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Mr Tall_

_Did you get picked on as a Baby wolf?_

_From Fred_

Dear Fred

No

Mr Tall

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

**Sorry 'bout Mr T's Short speech I gotta go now**

**PEACE**

**Lil xxx**


	4. In which Larten jumps out the window

**Hey everyone sorry for the long wait but I waiting for more questions but I finally got the questions XD. Thank you to all the People who reviewed and faved ILY all. * gives you all gold stickers* Remember if you review you will get a sticker and maybe if I'm feeling generous I might give you a cookie :D But no cookies or stickers if you don't Review :P**

**HERE IS DA NEW CHAPTAH **

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Larten-Freaking Awesome-Crepsley  
__  
__I lurveeeeee uuuuu :D Remember the time when you tried kissing Evanna and you got that scar, remember the time when you had to take all your clothes off and only wear your boxers in front of Darren and Gavner on the way to the Council, remember the time when Seba was telling Darren embarrassing stories about you, remember the time when I started talking about embarrassing moments about you, remember the time when- *I slap her*  
__  
From Creep_

Dear Creep

How do you know all this about me? *Le gasp* Are you a… Phantom? *Dun-Dun-Dun* AND HOW DARE YOU SAY ALL THIS TOMFOOLERY ABOUT MEH LEVE ME ALONE YOU STALKER! *jumps out window*

From Larten Crepsley

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Darren Shan_

_Seeing as how you dont get to play video games as much. How would you like to come over sometime to enjoy a gaming party? You could invite someone else from the Cirque if you want?_

_From Salmon_

Dear Salmon

Sure I'll ask Harkat. Harkat will bring his 'Assassin's Creed: Black Flag' Game, I'll bring the Popcorn and you'll supply the game. We'll stay up all night playin' XD.

From Darren Shan

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Evra Von_

_In the Harry Potter movies, is the snake that Voldemort has yours? Or is it some random snake the directors picked up off the street?_

_From Salmon_

Dear Salmon

Not at the beginning, no. But at the end of the Movies, when they weren't looking I stole Him XD. I called him Voldemort. LOL

From Evra

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Desmond Tiny_

_Why on earth do you have six toes on each foot? I mean seriously?!_

_P.S If I had all the power on earth I wouldn't waddle everywhere, its bad for the image -.-'_

_From CynderBlue_

Dear CynderBlue

Ummm how dare you ask me that? I was born with six toes obviously and I 'waddle' everywhere because I don't have a drivers licence and its really hard to make magical portals -_-. And why do I waddle I hear you ask? Well shame on you cuz it's a medical condition :'(

I wouldn't ask you why you have five human toes now would I?

From Desmond Tiny

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Darren Shan_

_How do you feel about the StevexDarren Fanfictions? You know the type of Romance stories? _

_From CynthiaTheButton_

Dear CynthiaTheButton

Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww… WHYYY?!... There are sooo many things wrong with that *shivers*  
Number One: HE IS MY HALF BROTHER  
Number Two: I AM STRAIGHT OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE I LIKE DEBBIE  
Number Three: Umm _hello? _It's Steve for goodness sake -_-

From Darren Shan

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Steve Leonard_

_If you where to kill some random Person or one of your Enemies. What weapon would you use?_

_P.S could you please give me a button? I'm not called CynthiaTheButton for nothing y'know -3- _

Dear CynthiaTheButton

If I were to kill a certain somebody *cough*_Darren_*cough* I would use a Flamethrower. Because then I could watch them burn in flames MUAHAHAHAHAHA

P.S of couse you can have a button :D *gives you a button* *you reach out to take it* Syke *snatches it away* I'M FEELIN EVIL MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

From Steve Leonard

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

**Steve is so weird. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVIEWS ILY ALL. Please Read, Review, Follow and Fave my story.**

**PEACE OUT **

**Lil xxx**


	5. In Which Desmond Freaks Out

**YAY ANOTHER CHAPPIE AND- Ahem sorry for screaming *blushes* Anyways guess what?.. I'll take your silence as 'what'. We have seven questions for this Chapter XD XD XD XD **

**ON TO LE LONG CHAPTA!**

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Debbie Hemlock_

If you were to hear Japanese Music or Korean music which one would you like better? Sorry if that question might be weird, but can't bother Steve not until he answers my question soo...basically I'm bored and since you're my third favorite character I had to ask you a question XP

P.S You wouldn't have a button would you? 0_0

_From CynthiaTheButton_

Dear CynthiaTheButton

I would like Japanese music better because it's more artsy I guess…

Yes I do have a Button, in fact I have a drawer full of buttons XD. You can have them if you want *gives you drawer full of buttons*

From Debbie Hemlock

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Darren_

Sorry for that last question hehe ... I'm one of those Crazed, Yaoi, Otaku people so I had to ask... also because I love that shipping! And Debbie rocks! I'm pretty sure you won't want talk to me, but answer this question please.

If you were to be a girl for one day, do you think you could stand ...well... you know… "The time of the month"?

_From CynthiaTheButton_

Dear CynthiaTheButton

-_- I'm still pissed at you for asking that last question but I'll answer this one.

I think I would be able to stand the "Time of the Month", I think girls overreact to the cramps, they can't be that bad XD.

From Darren Shan

**(Lil: I think at the end of this chapter I might curse Darren Muahahahaha)**

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Steve Leonard_

_YOU BASTARD GIMME MY BUTTON! I was going to get you a flamethrower, but y'know never mind T-T_

_Anyways I dare you to drink a glass of hot sauce… I know lame but whatever XP_

_From CynthiaTheButton_

Dear CynthiaTheButton

I will not give you your button and just so you know I'm holding it hostage MUAHAHAHAHA

And I'm not doing your dare, I don't have to :P **(Lil: Umm Steve you actually have to do the dare It's in your contract :P) **I told Gannen to read over it and tell me if there was anything that might hurt my pride -_-' Lesson: Never trust Gannen with anything :P

*Lil gets glass of hot-sauce ready* Ok I can do this *breathes in*… *breaths out* I'm ready *Downs whole glass, you can see little beads of sweat rolling down his forehead* OH MY GOD IT BURNS AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH *Downs a glass of water* TEARS ARE POURING OUT OF MY EYES AAAAAAAHHHHH! CALL THE AMBULANCE AAAAAAAAHHHHH *Lil gives him a glass of milk and dry Bread* **(Lil: Still hurt?) **OF COURSE IT STILL HURTS I JUST DRANK A WHOLE MOTHERF***ING GLASS OF HOT-SAUCE AAAAAAAAGGHHH!

From Steve Leonard

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Desmond Tiny_

_First off just had to say, I Have Your Watch again! Hahahah!  
And secondly next time I see you would you like to have another tea party because it has been far too long._

_P.S. You will never get the watch back from me again_

_From Blue_

Dear You-Annoying-Brat Blue

GIMMEH MEH FRUCKEN WAHTCH BAHCK! WTF HOW DID YOU EVEN GET IT AAAAAAAAAGH **(Lil: Calm down Desmond take a deep breath. Desmond: *Breathes In*… *Breathes out*… Lil: Calm? Desmond: Yes… NOOOOOOOO! *tries to attack blue* FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- *I slap him* Lil: If you don't stop freaking out I swear to jebus I will take away your Power Ranger DVD's -_- Desmond: *stops freaking out*) **

*Lil holding a gun to his back* Of course we can have a tea party *forced smile* **(Lil: Say it... *glares*. Desmond: I'm not saying it, it's too embarrassing. Lil: *cocks gun* I swear man I'll do it. Desmond: Ok Ok chill *holds up hands*) **And Lil is the most beautiful, maniacal, smexy, female I have ever seen, so she'll have to come too O_O *whispers* help me.

From Desmond Tiny

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Steve Leonard_

_I was just wondering why you are so sadistic and I wanted to know if you could teach me how I might be able to get just as crazy as you._

_From Blue_

Dear Blue

All you have to do is… *pause for water* hate somebody sooo much that you would be willing to kill them :D *pause for more water* Then it all just falls into place **(Gannen: That and he watched 'Lama's with hats' on Youtube ._.) **

From Steve Leonard

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Larten Crepsley_

_I know what you did to Gavner's parents on the Ship you evil man *disapproving glare*._

_From Salmon_

Dear Salmon

How do you know this? I have only told a select number of people, ARE YOU ANOTHER PHANTOM LIKE THAT CREEP GIRL? LEAVE ME ALONE YOU BEASTS! AAAAAAAGH *goes to jump out window but Lil stops him and tells him to give a proper reply*. I am well and truly sorry for what I did to Gavner's Parents, I did not mean to do it, I had the Vampire flu you see and did not know what I was doing, plus… THEY KILLED MALORA! *sobs uncontrollably, sorta sounds like Joe when he broke down in Family Guy XD* I AM SORRY WAAAAAAAAH

From A-Very-Disturbed Larten Crepsley

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Gavner Purl_

_Do you know those lovely boxers that you received from your unknown girlfriend?  
Well I have shirt that is almost similar only instead of pink elephants, it has pink butterflies, and every time I look at it I can't help but think of those boxers that had gotten the ever serious Crepsley to laugh XD._

_From Salmon XP_

Dear Salmon

OMG really? Sooo kewl. Y'know what we should do? We should totally just go to a Summer Festival, like 'Tea in the Park'. I'll wear my Boxers (with another pair underneath obviously) and you and your twin can wear your Shirts XD XD XD

P.S just so you know there's another way to get Crepsley to laugh XD. All you have to do is tickle him between his shoulder-blades XD lol

From Gavner Purl

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

**I can not believe I got seven questions, it makes me feel so loved *breaks down and cries* ILY ALL. I baked some cookies here you go *gives the reviewers cookies* No cookie to the peeps who didn't review :P. Review next time or you will miss out on the cupcakes :P**

**PEACE AND TRANQUILITY TO ALL**

**Lil xxx**


	6. An actual STORY chapter XD

**Ok this Chappie isn't your letters, it's an **_**actual story chapter**_** :P. This Chappie is for CynthiaTheButton, who sent me this letter:**

**Dear Darren Shan**

Is that so? Hmm? Then you somehow

_**have**_** to turn into a girl and experience **_**the time of the month**_**. I'm pretty sure you won't be able handle it but if you think you can then ok.**

**From CynthiaTheButton**

**So this chappie is for her XD. But she sent me this one also:**

**Dear Steve Leonard**

HAHAHHAHAHA PAY BACK IS A BITCH! That's what you get for not giving a button to a button person XP . Now I will punish you with any dare I can Think of -3-

I dare you to join Darren in the turning into a Girl and experiencing

_**the time of the month.**_

**From CynthiaTheButton**

**So I am going to be doing a chappie based on these two letters. All the advice I can give to Darren and Steve is… Good Luck.**

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

"DARREN… DARR- *cough* -EN… DARR- OOF" Harkat called, right before he tripped over the Log Darren and Evra where sitting on.

"What's wrong Harkey? Darren said around a mouthful of Spaghetti.

"There are some Girls looking for you… in Mr. Tall's Trailer." Harkat said all the while rubbing his abused toes.

"Girls Hmm? I knew nobody could resist my charm." Darren said boastfully, while slicking back his hair. Evra rolled his eyes.

"I think your in trouble Darren,… they didn't look very happy." Said Harkat finally standing up.

"What can a bunch of _Girls _do to me?" Darren said while rolling his eyes at the thought.

Evra and Harkat shared a look.

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

When Darren reached Mr. Tall's Trailer he was met with three teenage Girls, a glaring Mr. Tall and _Steve Leonard_.

"WHY IS HE HERE?!" They said simultaneously, giving eachother a distasteful look.

One of the girls spoke up. (Me) "We are here on behalf of a letter you sent to Cynthia here," She pointed to a blonde girl (just presuming). "She wants payback you see." Cynthia nodded.

"Then why am I here?" Steve asked.

Another Girl spoke up. "As Lil said, for payback, you sent in another letter saying you wouldn't give Cynthia a button so she wants even more payback. Muahahahahaha- OW" Lil hit her in the back of the head.

"Salmon stop, you're creeping everyone out." Salmon bowed her head, a few tears threatening to overflow.

"Were here to show Darren what it feels like to be a Girl." Cynthia said.

"W-what are you g-gonna do t-to me?" Steve asked, scared now.

"You're gonna be joining him. Muaha- OW" Salmon was cut off by Lil hitting her in the back of the head.

"Quit it." She said with a glare. Salmon's lip quivered.

The three Girls made a circle around Steve and Darren, which was very difficult considering the amount of space.

"I think we should do this outside." Mr. Tall said, finnaly speaking for the first time since Darren arrived.

"Good Idea." Said Cynthia and they proceded to shuffle out the door.

Darren and Steve stood back-to-back as the three girls made a circle around them and joined hands.

"Thou who dissed thy sacred _time of thy month_ shall pay for thou's misdeads." They said simultaneously. "Thou hath dissed _the painters_ shall turn into thou's opposite gender, while witnesses watch astounded by thou sorcery." They chanted, the shadows crept towards them alarmingly and Darren and Steve squished their backs together in fear.

"Body Change, Body Feel, Body Change, Body Real." They chanted over and over again going faster each time, the shadows where bunching up outside the circle and where becoming a jelly-like substance. With one last "Body Real" they let go of eachothers hands and the shadow-jelly engulfed Darren and Steve…

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

Darren's P.O.V

"Uuuuuugh my heaaad." I groaned, sitting up in my hammock. My tummy felt sore and my head hurt like hell.

"What the hell?" I looked to my left and to my surprise a girl with short silver hair was sitting up in the hammock beside me. I looked around, I seemed to be back in my tent, but what was this girl doing here?

Ignoring the pain in my tummy and head, I looked over and asked, "Who are you?" I was shocked to hear a feminine voice, instead of my high boyish voice.

"I'm Steve Leonard, Lord of the Vampaneze, at your service." The Gi- wait _STEVE? _WTF is going on here.

"Steve… I dunno how to say this but… You're a Girl." Then everything came back to me in a flash. The chanting, the circle, the shadow-jelly. Until finally I looked down at myself… and screamed.

"What are you screaming abouuu- OH MY GOT, I HAVE BOOBS… Awesome." Then he started playing with them. (Not like that, he started jiggling them, you sick people -_-)

I slapped him/her hard. "Stop messing around, this is serious." I slapped him/her again.

"Owie, what was that one for?" He/she asked, clutching the side of his/her face in pain.

"Meh. Just wanted to slap you for all the shit you caused a few years ago." I shrugged my shoulders. "Let's go find Mr. Crepsley, he'll know what to do."

"Wait, who are you?" Steve asked.

"Umm. Darren? Darren Shan?" His/her eyes widened.

"DARR-" He began but cut off by the line break.

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

"MR. CREPSLEY, MR. CREPSLEY, WHERE ARE Y-OOF." He screamed before he slammed into something green, purple, hairy and sunburnt. Vancha.

"Well hello there, pretty lady." Vancha wiggled his eyebrows at Darren who was now on the floor. "Wanna hand?" He reached his hand out to him/her and he/sh- (aw screw it imma call him a she :P) and _SHE_ took it. Vancha Pulled her up and slammed her into his chest.

"Oops, didn't mean that." He chuckled into her ear.

"Hey wanna know a secret?" She whispered mockingly into his ear.

"Sure, babe." He said seductively.

"I'm a Man." To say the least, Vancha fainted.

Mr. Crepsley was in his trailer, asleep. "Mr. Crepsley wake up."

"Darren, I gotta pee." Steve said, clutching his privates in agony.

"Not now Steve. Can't you see I'm trying to wake Mr. Crepsley? Mr. Crepsley wake up." She poked him. He suddenly sat up and caught her hand.

"Who are you? Is this an attack? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?" He shouted, venom in his voice.

"Mr. Crepsley, it's me, Darren and this is Steve." She pointed at Steve who was now doing a little dance, trying to hold in her pee.

"Oooooh, now I remember. Hibernous said you were going to turn into females." He looked her up and down, then realizing he was still holding her hand he let it go and hopped out of his coffin.

"Darren… I seriously need to pee." Steve said now hopping about the Trailer in agony.

"THEN GO TO THE TOILET SHEESH!" Steve bolted out the door towards the toilet.

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

Steve's P.O.V

I finally got to the toilet. I stood and pulled down my pants and remembered I didn't have _that_ anymore and I had _this_. I sat down on the toilet and relieved myself.

Just as I was about to flush, I saw the most horrific thing I ever did see.

_BLOOD…IN MY PEE!_

I screamed as loud as I could and a few minouts later. Mr. Crepsley, Darren and the three Girls ran into the bathroom stall.

"That's what you get for not giving a Button to a Button Person." Cynthia said and Lil punched her arm.

"EVERYBODY OUT. SALMON, CYNTHIA HELP DARREN." Lil screamed and everybody else ran out. By now I was crying my eyes out.

"It's alright Steve, it's just the Period." She said soothingly.

"Make it stop." I cried. _Why was I so emotional?_

She handed me some _Womanly Products _told me how to use them and left me to myself.

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

Nobody's P.O.V

Darren and Steve went to lie down in their Hammocks about an hour ago and Evra and Harkat where keeping them company. The Girls where outside whispering.

"WE'RE BAAAACK~" Lil sang as she burst through the tent flaps, she then proceded to dramatically walk over to Darren's Hammock and sit down _Very _dramatically.

"My tummy huuuurts." Steve groaned from underneath the mountain of blankets.

"Here have a Chocolate covered Banana." Salmon said, handing Steve a Choco-Banana. Steve grimaced. "Don't worry they taste nicer than they sound." She laughed and Steveb reluctantly took it.

She took a bite.

"This. Is. The. Most. Beautiful. Thing. In. The. World. EhMehGered ILurveIt." Steve swallowed the entire thing in three bites. "GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE." Salmon handed her the bag of Choco-Bananas, she hissed and pounced into the corner of the room.

Darren was currently curled up underneath the blankets watching 'The Titanic' on Cynthia's iPad and bawling her eyes out. "NOOOOOO YOU CAN'T DIEEEE!" She screamed suddenly, making Evra jump out of his skin.

"WHO DIED?!" Mr. Crepsley burst into the room, his swords drawn

"LEONARDO DICAPRIO!" Darren screamed, clutching the iPad for support.

"Who?" Mr. Crepsley asked, sheathing his swords.

"The guy who plays Jack Dawson in the movie 'Titanic'" Salmon explained. Mr. Crepsley nodded and left the tent.

Cynthia was currently handing Darren tissues while Lil rubbed her back and Steve… well Steve was running out of Choco-Bananas.

"AAAAAAGH MY CHOCO-BANANAS ARE GOOOOONE! Who stole them? Was it you?" He pointed at Evra, who was watching 'The Simpsons' on the portable telly. "Or was it you's?" He pointed at the gumball machine. "I know you've hated me from the beginning, BUT THAT IS NO REASON TO STEAL MY CHOCO-BANAN-OW." Salmon slapped her.

"Stop spazzing Steve we can get you more Choco-Bananas." Salmon said in a deadpan voice and she ushered Steve to the Mess-Hall.

"That wasn't weird at all." Harkat said sarcastically, handing Cynthia another box of tissues for Darren.

"Ok now?" Lil asked Darren, who was planted on her bosom, crying her eyes out. Darren nodded and let go of Lil reluctantly.

That was when Vancha walked in.

"OHMEGERED VANCHA EEEEEEEH." Lil screamed and glomped Vancha.

"AAAAAGH GET THIS- Well hello th- wait are you Steve?" Vancha said with even wider eyes than usual.

"No my name is Lil and ILURVEYOU!" Lil screamed, wrapping her legs around Vancha's waist and bringing him to the floor.

"Lil get offa Vancha." Salmon said walking into the room with a happy Steve.

"Awww." Lil whined getting off of Vancha and helping him up. "I'm never washing this hand ever again." Lil whispered with wide eyes, skipping away happily.

Vancha walked after her.

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

**Ok I am finished this chapter. I was working on it the last week and I cannot be bothered to write anymore. So :P**

**PEACE, LOVE AND CHOCOLATE**

**Lil xxx**


	7. More Letters I guess

**Hey all my peeps thank you for Reviewin' ILY ALL! MWA! I have 10 questions, that's 3 more than last time:D. I-I just- I just- *bursts out crying, into Lartens cloak.***

**Larten: Hey I just got that cleaned!**

**Fred: Larten this is a very emotional time leave her be and you can say her catchphrase :D**

**Larten: REALLY?! Omg thanks, ON T-**

**Lil: ON TO LEH STORAY**

**Larten: *glares***

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Darren Shan_

Have you ever taken Mr. Crepsley's Cloak? If not you should and use it as a target for knife practice :D

And...would you please stick this *gives Darren a rather large bomb* under Mr. Tiny's chair? PLZ. I really want to see him go boom. Hehehe.

From CynderBlue

Dear CynderBlue

I have never taken Mr. Crepsley's Cloak O_o If I even laid a finger on that piece of Fabric I would be killed on the spot 0_0

*takes bomb from you* Sure MWAHAHAHAHAHA *Evil crazy phsycopath face*

From Darren Shan

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Desmond Tiny_

I wish you luck on keeping your watch out of enemy hands. Because if you get it back from Blue, I will promptly take it and throw it into a Volcano… Just warning you. :)

P.S. I WILL BE AIDING BLUE IN KEEPING THE WATCH FROM YOU!

_From CynderBlue_

Dear CynderBlue

If you even tried to put my watch into a Volcano It would explode and make a the whole world go BOOM! Also if you help that Blue girl I will personally string out your Guts Muahahahaha.

Now get out of my sight :P. *goes to sit down, flies out of his chair and makes a hole in the roof*

AAAAAAAGH WHO DID THIS?! *everyone points to Darren and CynderBlue* IMMA KILL YOU! *Crazy face*

From Desmond Tiny

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Vancha March _

_If I were a Vampire would you be my Mate?_

_From Blue_

Dear Blue

I don't even know you WTF? Anyways I promised Lil that I would be her mate when I finish with Evanna and Alice :D *Lil glomps Vancha* No hard feelings?

From Vancha March

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Steve Leonard_

_Do you except the Funyarinpa as your Lord and Savior?_

_From Salmon_

Dear Salmon

ALL HAIL THE ALMIGHTY FUNYARINPA! *starts chanting*

From Steve Leonard

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Darren Shan _

_If you could be bestowed with any of the gifts of the Triforce which would you choose?_

_Power, Wisdom or Courage? _

_From Salmon_

Dear Salmon

Wisdom, cuz I'm not the sharpest… Sharp thing in the… Sharp thing Box :D

From Darren Shan

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Gavner Purl_

Random Question but ... How do you see your self in Anime and Manga?

_From CynthiaTheButton_

Dear CynthiaTheButton

C'mon dude I look like Naruto for petes sake! I AM OVER ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD, HE'S LIKE THIRTEEN!

From Gavner Purl

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Gannen Harst_

_I have a lot more than this to ask but first off do you hate Steve? Or do you actually enjoy following him? Or did Mr. Tiny force you to do it? Or like what is it with you and Steve because I absolutely hate Steve but I like you so kinda conflicted._

_P.S I'm MK (Missiri Koharehn, your 'vampaneze assitant" in a certain fanfiction o.o)_

_From AmyMilo_

Dear AmyMilo

I don't _hate_ Steve per say, but I do find him _extremely annoying_ -_-… Also thank you for giving me a letter you are my first one :D

From Gannen Harst

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Darren Shan_

_na uh darren, u have at least ten scars, just counting the ones on your finger tips you little fibber you!_

_From Kmspirk_

Dear Kmspirk

OMG I FORGOT OKAY!? Geez I have at least 19 scars then -_-'

From Darren Shan

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Darren Shan_

_Nuh Huh Darren you know you bi. _

_From Kmspirk_

Dear Kmspirk

EVEN IF I WAS BI, IT IS STILL SOOOO WRONG CUZ STEVE IS MY BROTHER! AAAAAAAGH!

From Darren Shan

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Steve Leonard_

_Steve u spelled psych wrong so Un :P_

_From Kmspirk_

Dear Kmspirk

You spelled 'You' wrong so UN XP

P.S I wasn't in School since I was Sixteen :P And I haven't been writing down my thoughts and feelings and shit in a Diary like that Darren pussy :P

From Steve Leonard

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

**It is official I love all of you peeps XD You have made my week :D Also if you don't know what the 'Funyarinpa' is, google it , don't Yahoo it, google it XD**

**Read, Review aaaaand Question!**

**PEACE, LOVE AND TRANQUILITY TO ALL OF YOU PEEPS XD**

**Lil xxx**


	8. In which the LP's trash MT's house XD

**Hi Ya'll another chappie for ya! Hope ya like it XD There isn't as many letters for your enjoyment today so be happy with what you get.**

**As my Granny always says: Beggers can't be choosers. :)**

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Gannen Harst_

_Thanks for answering and your welcome for writing! XD Anyways, what do you think about your brother Vancha? Like do you think he's weird/crazy and stuff and do you still love him as a brother even though he's a vampire? And that kind of stuff._

_From Missiri Koharehn/Amy __Milo_

Dear Missiri Koharehn/Amy Milo

Yes I do think he is weird/crazy and smelly… and unkept… and gross, but I love him, he's the only family I've got… exept for the twins… and Evanna, who is my Mom/Mate… weird huh?

From Gannen Harst

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Gavner Purl_

_OK OK no need to scream your head off, I get your like Naruto, a very Attractive Naruto at that (ok now feel creepy for that but *shrugs* oh well)_

_From CynthiaTheButton_

Dear CynthiaTheButton

You think I'm attractive? *Blushes, hides behind Lil*… *whispers* thank you. *shies away*

From Gavner Purl

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Darren Shan_

_Seeing as how you are already coming over for video games how would you like to see some Badass vampire craziness?_

_From Salmon_

Dear Salmon

HELLS YAH! I'll bring over 'Vampires Suck' XD

From Darren Shan

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear R.V. _

_Why didn't you listen to Darren when he warned you about the Wolf Man? Cuz I find that really stupid concidering the fact that it was technically your fault that one of my fave people died... I will hunt you down and pull you out of the __Lake__ of __Souls__ and kill you again just because I can. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

_From Salmon_

Dear Salmon

I'll admit it.. when I was trying to set the wolf man free… I was on shrooms *looks at the ground* I AM REALLY SORRY! *hides behind Lil with Gavner*

From R.V.

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Sam Grest_

What is it like to be a soul in a shared body? Do you ever fight for control?

From Blue

Dear Blue

I tried once and all I could say was "do we have any pickled onions?". To be a soul trapped in a shared body… well it's not that bad actually it's like wearing someone else's socks, you get used to it *shrugs*

From Sam Grest

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Desmond Tiny_

This is turning into an extended correspondence! *gets excited*  
Good luck finding me! I stole the invisibility cloak from the Harry Potter realm and now I can torment you with it. Muahahaha! Do you have any last words? Oh and by the way *holds up heart watch* You left this by the toilet. *runs away under cloak*

From Cynder (CynderBlue for all you retards out there)

Dear Cynder

WHAT THE HELL HOW DID- *pinch* OW. What happened? Who pinched me? *pinch* This isn't funny anymore *pinch* AAAAAAAGH LEAVE ME ALONE DEMON! *jumps out window* **(Larten: Hey that's my thing *sulks*. Lil: *pats him* Good job Cynder :) But I think Blue is going to be angry with you getting Desmonds watch before her O_o)**

From Desmond Tiny

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Little People,_

Do you ever get sick of following Mr. Tiny around? Why don't you rebel a little? Throw a party. Have some music and good food. Bring fireworks, balloons and streamers! (And don't forget the toilet paper for Mr. Tiny's house)

From Cynder

Dear Cynder

Main Little Peep: OMG that is a great idea. COME ON GUYS LETS GO TRASH MR TINY'S HOUSE  
Little Peeps: YEAH WHOOOHOOOO  
Main Little Peep: Imma Get the Eggs XD  
*Trashes Mr Tiny's House, you can see fireworks in the background, a screaming Mr Tiny tiet to a chair with chains, two little peeps snogging in the background*  
Random Drunk Little Peep: Imma pusht own sohme moosic *Puts on 'Party Rock Athem', you can see drunk Little People trying to do the shuffle but failing miserably*

From The Little Peeps

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

**SEVEN LETTERS WHOOP! *starts singing 'A moment like this'* I caant believe it's happening to meeee~ some people wait a life time for a mooooooment liiiike thiiiiiiis~  
I LOVE YOU ALL**

**PEACE LOVE AND CHOCOLATE**

**Lil xxx**


	9. In which there is an argument

**HI YA'LL I'M BACK WITH ANOTHER CHAPPIE :D**

**At the end of this chappie there is goin to be a bit of a fight Hehehe~ **

**Hope Ya'll like it aaaaand**

**ON TO ****LE ST-**

**Larten: *Punches* ON TO LE STORAY**

**Lil: *Doubled over in pain* Dude what the *wheeze* Hell!**

**Larten: That is payback for flipping the couch with me still on it :P**

**Lil: YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO PUNCH ME IN MY BELLY! THAT'S LIKE A KICK IN THE NUTS TO GIRLS *Wheeze***

**Larten: *Shrugs***

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Gavner purl_

Of course your are attractive , as a matter a fact would you like to go out sometime?.

But I bet your busy so…  
Oh well but your still cute

_P.S. If your not busy… CALL ME! My number is *************_

**_(Lil: WHO YA GONNA CALL?! Fred: Um, Cynthia? Lil: GHOST BUSTERS! *ghost busters theme song* lol sorry I just had to do that :D)_**

_From CynthiaTheButton_

Dear CynthiaTheButton

**(Fred: Gavner is currently hiding in Lil's closet and is refusing to come out, but I'll give him your number :D Also he says thank you for calling him hansom XD) **

From Gavner Purl (Fred)

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Desmond Tiny_

From this moment forward I will be calling your minions Little Peeps. It suits them and now I can't stop thinking about candy peeps. If you put one of your Little Peeps in the microwave would it blow up? I'm sorry (not sorry) if that mental image bothers you.  
Now down to business! *evil grin* See that box over there? It is timed to open 1 minute after you read this letter. Then a million angry, neon pink, demon kittens will swarm your kitchen. Oh and by the way they like shiny things so keep them out of our precious collection cave. *waves and skips away to a safe place*

P.S. If you even kill one kitten I will turn all your dragons into kabobs. Again sorry (but not sorry) if this bothers your sensitive feelings!

From Cynder 

Dear Cynder

*looks over at box* Don't blow u- *KAPOW* Aaaaaaah NEON PINK DEMON KITTENS MY ONE WEAKNESS*runs around the room bashing into random stuff* GET THEM OFF! GET THEM OFF! *You can hear a boom coming from the kitchen* **(Lil: *walks into kitchen* FELIX WHY DID YOU BLOW UP YOUR BROTHER?) ***Desmond locks neon pink Demon Kittens in the Living room* Whew *pant pant* also *pant pant* don't you *pant pant* dare call my little people anything else but little people *glare* And for the record- *Fred 'accedentally on purpose' opens the living room door* AAAAAAAAAGH LIIIIIIL HELP ME *Lil is currently cleaning up chunks of little person out of the microwave and Fred is watching the Kittens fiasco with a box of popcorn*

From Desmond Tiny

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY  
**  
_Dear Larten Crepsley_

I have one simple question: Why on earth does spell check keep changing your name to MR. CRISPLY?!

_From Cynder_

Dear Cynder

It is because there are no more Crepsleys left… they all died out and nobody knows who the hell I am so it is not in the surname dictionary :) hope that helps… sort of…

From Larten Crepsley

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY (HERE IS AN ARGUMENT BETWEEN BLUE AND CYNDERBLUE ABOUT DES)**

_Dear Cynder  
__  
How dare you steal the watch before me! I will chase you down to the ends of the earth and make you suffer for your miss deads. *glare*  
__  
From Blue_

Dear Blue

We both want the same thing in life: To torment Mr. Tiny into insanity. Right? So let's become partners in crime! :D But I will be holding onto the watch for a little while longer (I may or may not be redecorating it)

From Cynder

_Dear Cynder  
But, I was here first and I called dibs on the watch first so why couldn't I steal it?  
... Okay fine you can have it, but only if you join Desmond and I for our next tea party.  
__  
From Blue_

Dear Blue

Ok, I will send it back as soon as I finish redecorating it. When/where will the next tea party be? And how on earth will you get Mr. Tiny to come anyway?

From Cynder

_Dear Cynder_

_It's at my house XD Also Mr. Tiny lives in our closet sometimes :D_

_From Blue_

*While they where arguing Mr. Tiny ran away with the watch*

Blue/Cynder: HEY COME BACK HERE

*They run after Desmond*

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

**Hey everyone I'm sorry this chappie was so short but I didn't get a lot of letters *glares* and I have this thing where I have to finish what I started ASAP. SO SEND ME YOUR LETTERS OR I WILL GET FRUSTRATED!**

Earl (Fred's imaginary friend): HAI GUYS FRED INVITED ME TO BE IN THIS CHAPTER XD

**Lil: Get out of here Earl.**

**Bernadette (Lil's imaginary friend): Hey Earl do you wanna go to a tea party?**

**Earl: Of course not. Tea partys are for pussys :P**

**Bernadette: Awwww *sad***

**Fred: GET OUT OF HERE YOU TWO!**

**Lil: *Shoos them away***

**PEACE, LOVE AND CHOCOLATE **

**Lil xxx**


	10. In which we have an EPIC PARTAY!

**HAI ALL ANOTHER CHAPTER UP FOR YA'LL! *Mini-Party* YAYA! Ok so who is glad to see me? *nobody says anything* WELL I DON'T CARE NOTHING IS GOING TO SPOIL MY GOOD MOOD :D!**

**Fred: Ok so Lil is hiper because she ate some sour twizzlers and is listening to some fast hiped up music. So that explains that.**

**Lil: LOOK A UNICORN! Da da da mmm hmm~ *starts slow dancing with Vancha and Harkat* **

**Larten: Stop this tomfoolery right now Lillian or else you will not get any late night twizzlers.**

**Lil: NOOOOO MY TWIZZLERS! ON TO LE STORAY! *Reaches for twizzlers***

**Vancha: Give me a kiss and I'll give them to you. *Points to cheek***

**Lil: *kisses Vancha on the cheek***

**Vancha: *goes all day-dreamy* HeeeHeeeeHeeeeeeeee~ *faints***

**Larten: *facedesk***

**Lil: *Eats Twizzlers while sitting criss cross apple sauce***

**Fred: Ok without further ado, here is the next Chapter**

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Darren Shan_

_Weird Question but who is your favorite Disney princess? And don't deny it I know you have one :P  
Mine is Belle from Beauty and the Beast and has been my favorite one since I was little_

_From Salmon_

Dear Salmon

I-I don't have a favorite Disney princess. Pfft There for Girls. **(Fred: Hey Darren your poster of Cinderella has come in the post. Do you want me to put it with the rest of your Cinderella stuff?) **SHUT UP FRED! *walks away wearing Cinderella slippers* **(Lil: *Deadpan look*)**

From Darren Shan

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Darren Shan_

_Do you ever regret saving Steve after he was bitten by Madam Octa?_

_From Salmon_

Dear Salmon

Yes I do. Ever since I saved his life he has been a total Butt. Just last week we finally got Vancha to take a shower and Steve stole the Shampoo -_-. We think Vancha is still running around naked somewhere. **(Vancha: *Jumps out of the closet* BOOGEDY BOOGEDY BOOO! *Darren screams and covers his eyes* Larten: Runs in with a giant net* VANCHA GET INTO THE TRUCKING BATH OR SO HELP ME! *catches him in the net and brings him to the bathroom. Lil is following behind***

I am scarred for life. DAMN YOU STEVE! **(Steve: *Cackles Maniacally*)**

From Darren Shan

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Steve Leonard_

_I was just wondering if you were still suffering any side effects from that little female curse. Because if you were I have an extra box O' choco-bannanas with your name on it :D_

_From Salmon_

Dear Salmon

CHOCO-BANANAS? WHERE? AAAAAAAGH *Smashes computer*

…

…

…

*Online*

I'm sorry for smashing the computer. *sad face* Now I have to use Fred's laptop. GIMME THOSE CHOCO-BANANAS THOUGH!

From Steve Leonard

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

Dear Desmond Tiny

I was just wondering what you would've done if in the end if Darren and Steve instead of dying, made up and became friends once again?

From Salmon

Dear Salmon

Simple. I would've killed them both :). Oooh look a shiny pebble XD

From Desmond Tiny

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Gannen Harst_

_Seeing as how Steve, your LORD, has excepted the Funyarinpa as his lord and savior does that mean he will force all of you to convert to the religion of the Funyarinpa? Still haven't come up with name fore said religion but just decided to ask._

_From Salmon_

Dear Salmon

Will he? O_O Oh My GODS! WE HAVE A MADMAN FOR A LORD! EVERYBODY HE IS GOING TO CONVERT US TO FUNYARISM! RUUUUUN! **(Everybody: *Runs* AAAAGH)**

From Gannen

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Larten Crepsley_

_I am deeply *not* sorry that I rambled on about your embarrassments. Your reaction was hilarious. HEHEHEHE Anyway, can I have your cloak since technically you're dead? ... Or at least your overcoat? Pleeeeease? I'm writing a fanfic about you :D It's gonna be a *grins maniacally* ROOOOOMAWNCE *salamance in background* How d'ya feel 'bout that? Huh? HUH? How does it feel, being dead?_

_Your #1 fan, Creep_

_P.S. I stole your cloak anyway. HA._

_From Creep_

Dear Creep

You can keep that cloak its in tatters anyways XP. I will just go get my new one out of the bo- SON OF BACON! CREEP GIVE ME BACK MY MOTHERLOVIN' CLOAK! *tackles Creep* **(Lil: Don't forgety about me! *tackles Larten and Creep*)**

From Larten Crepsley

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Gavner Purl_

I don't think I got his number *holds out hand*. Well anyways.. YOO WHO! I'M HAPPY ANYWAY!

If you would dye your hair. What color would you dye it? Lame question but just curious -_-

_From CynthiaTheButton_

Dear CynthiaTheButton

I would dye it Purple… I don't know why… I just like the colour purple *shrugs*

From Gavner Purl

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Desmond Tiny_

I'm glad you liked my present! The face you made was beautiful. Now you get to choose your next one! Would you like the tiny black box, the medium sized orange bx or the giant neon flashing green box? Heheheh, you have to choose one or all three will be arriving at your door!

From Cynder

Dear Cynder

I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE! I DON'T WANT ANY OF THEM AAAAAAAGH! **(Lil: I'll choose for you *pats his head* Ummm I choose the… Flashing neon green one XD *takes box and hands it to desmond*) **Ok Lil if you think this one is the safest *opens box*…

To Be Continued…

From Desmon Tiny

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

Dear Blue

WE HAVE TO GET HIM RIGHT NOW! *runs after Mr. Tiny with a fishing net* Come back here Des I have a cookie for you!

From Cynder

_Dear Cynder _

_OOOOOH NOOO *grabs fishing rod and steals Lil's monster truck* GET HIM!_

_From Blue_

Dear Blue and Cynder

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE MUAHAHAHAHA! *bashes into tree* Oof *faints and Blue and Cynder grab the watch*

From Desmond Tiny

*We have a party to celebrate*

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

**WHOOO I'M AT THE PARTY AND IT. IS. OWF. DA. HOOOOOK!**

**Fred: WHO WANTS TO SEE ME DO A CANNON BALL INTO THE POOL?**

Everybody: JUMP, JUMP, JUMP!

**Fred: *Cannon Ball***

**Darren: WHOOOP WHOOOP!**

**Larten: *is riding on a mechanical bull… in the Nuddy-Pants… but he has his Black and Red boxers on* WHOOOOO! VANCHA YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS!**

**Vancha: *is wearing a black Italian suit (miraculously) and is making out with Lil***

**Gannen: IMMA DO THE FLAMING TORNADO! WHOOOP! Barman, get me a lighter, a funnel, vodka, a lemon and a fire extinguisher.**

**Blue: IMMA GET THE FUNNEL!**

**Lil: *out of breath* Ok so I'm going to end this chapter before things get out of hand.**

**PEACE, LOVE AND CHOCOLATE!**

**Gannen: *hair is on fire* AAAAAAGH MY HAIR PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT! *barman puts out flame*… awesome… LETS DO IT AGAIN!**

**Everyone: WHOOO YEAH!**

**Lil xxx**


	11. In which There is a new Character XD

**Hi Guys another chapter up for Yah Sorry for the late update *sad face***

**ON TO LE STORAY!**

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Cirque Members_

_PIZZA PARTY! *Throws pizza in air*_

_From Salmon_

Dear Salmon

WHOOO! PIZZA! YEAH! *everybody eats Pizza like rabid wolves*

From The Cirque Members

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Darren Shan_

_Would you like to go to the art exhibit of Guertena?_

_From Salmon_

Dear Salmon

CGOMG yes! Even though IDK what that is… O_o But yah!

From Darren Shan

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear (mostly) Everyone_

_If you were invited to a picnic what would you bring?  
And this is open to Vampires, Vamaneze, Freaks and Mortals alike _

_From Blue_

Dear Blue

Sam Grest: PICKLED ONIONS!

Larten Crepsley: Umm I would bring… Strawberries :D

Vancha March: I would bring Mushrooms hehehe~

Darren Shan: I would bring Pickled Onions too… Y'know, cuz Sam is inside of me… :}

Steve Leonard: CHOCO-BANANAS! *noms all the Choco-Bananas… now there are no more left… IN THE WORLD. DUN DUN DUUUUUN* MAH CHOCO BANANAS AAAAAAGH

Rhamus Twobellies: Nuts 'n' bolts XD

From (mostly) Everybody

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Stanley Collins (The Scouts Master in book 2)_

_Why the hell are you wearing shorts? I mean DO YOU WANT TO GIVE SOMEBODY A HEART ATTACK!? Nobody wants to see your pale, hairy, stringbean legs. AND YOU LIVE IN IRELAND! THE WEATHER IS HORRIBLE HERE!_

_From Awesome Reviewer_

Dear Awesome Reviewer

*Lil takes sheet off his head* AAAGGH WHERE AM I?! **(Lil: You are in my lair… A.K.A my bedroom… NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION!) **Ok fine… *reads letter* HEY I DO NOT HAVE HAIRY, PALE, STRINGBEAN LEGS *glares* Humph *sulks off into the corner* **(Lil: OK VANCHA KNOCK HIM OUT! Vancha: *knocks Stanley out*)**

From Stanley Collins

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Larty Crepsley (teehee~)_

No, I will not give you your new cloak or your old cloak back. I also took your special overcoat... But that's irrelevant. What's important is that you get off that mechanical bull and get back into character... I also dare you to only wear boxers next time you see the Princes. Or else I'll kidnap Arra and we'll play Modern Warfare 2 together. And she's not allowed to use guns...MUAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.  


_P.S. I will never give back your stuff, whatever you say... Unless, of course, you take part in my teachings...I will teach you to read... HEHEHEHEHEHEHEH_

_From Your #1 Ultra-Awesome fan Creep_

Dear Butt-Girl Creep (haha I can make up names too y'know)

FINE! *goes up to Princes wearing nothing but his undercrackers* NOW GIVE ME ARRA! AND MY CLOAK! AND MY ULTRA-SUPER-MEGA-AWESOME WAISTCOAT!

P.S AAAAAAGH *jumps out the window*

From Larten Crepsley

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

_Dear Darren Shan and Steve Leonard_

_How did it feel to be a girl?_

_From CynthiaTheButton_

Dear CynthiaTheButton

I'm still getting cramps… -_- *death glare*

From Darren Shan

Dear CynthiaTheButton

I actually enjoyed it… hehe~ I had boobs… AND ALL THE CHOCO BANANAS I COULD EAT MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

From Steve Leonard

**LE_LINE_CONSPIRACY**

***insert authors note here***

**PEACE, LOVE AND CHOCOLATE **

**Lil xxx**


	12. Sorry

Dear loyal fans,

I cannot update for a while because I broke my finger, Slammed the door on it. So I will not be updating for a week or two. Sorry :'(

From LililolipopD


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